It is never easy saying goodbye to those we love. Last week was especially hard. You would think after almost 12 years of loving and losing pets for whom I have cared that it would somehow get easier. It doesn't.
I have been massaging Xander every two weeks for almost two years. He was generally nervous and mildly affectionate in the beginning. However, when his brother passed, he stepped forward to take Deus' loving place. Over the past couple of months, I became his bed or pillow during his massages. We melded together.
On Tuesday evening I had planned to stop by to see him, since I knew he had been feeling poorly. However, that afternoon I received a text from his mom that he was gone. Sweet, precious Xander (Alexander) joined his sister, Siri, and brother Deus (Amadeus) across the Rainbow Bridge. No more chances for me to kiss his irresistible, sweet face.
I had only met Maxx recently, but he was a special little man. He was there for his mom when she lost her only child two years ago. He made her keep going and gave her a reason to smile and continue to love.
Sweet Maxx had dementia, was not very stable on his feet, was losing his hearing (or it was selective since he always heard the treat bag), and no longer had any depth perception. Watch those fingertips when you gave him those treats he always heard.
I wish I had had more time to get to know Maxx. He was gone too soon. My heart goes out to his mom. May she find another sweet soul to give her the love she will miss.
Some days it is harder than others to keep going. Two more pieces of my heart have been ripped out. I will never be the same. I will never forget these two precious babies or any of the others that have gone before or I will lose in the future.
The only thing I know to do to help me feel better is to let myself feel whatever I feel. If I am sad when I think about them, then I will cry. If a memory makes me smile or laugh, then that is what I will do. I will continue to open my heart to other babies as I meet them, and I will weep and mourn when they move on. What other option is there?