This is new for me since I don’t usually open up like this. These are a couple journal entries regarding my special girl, Punkie, an amazing orange tabby, who left me in October 2008. I post this for everyone who has lost their best furry friend. I hope it helps to know you aren’t alone.
She never complained when I chatted endlessly about nothing. She listened as if I was telling her the secrets of the world.
She never got upset at me if I was sad or crying. Instead she always tried to comfort me. I will never forget the day she put her paw on my arm when she decided that I had cried long enough. That soothed me and helped me to relax and fall asleep.
She loved to be picked up and cuddled in my arms to peak out a window or get a boost up to a higher spot that her older legs just wouldn’t attempt.
When I was happy, she let me twirl around in circles with her in my arms tolerating my silliness and excitement.
She smiled when she saw me, and she always smelled like the warm breezes of summer.
Her nickname was “up my butt” because that was where she invariably was. In the office, if I wouldn’t let her on my lap, I had to sit on the front edge of the chair so she could lay behind me. Anything else was too far away.
How do you go on without a companion like that??? Can anyone tell me how to not miss that kind of love? My boys are great, but although they love me absolutely, their needs usually come first. With Punkie, my needs were the most important. How did I ever deserve to be so blessed by that love for so many years? God was abundantly gracious to me the day he led her into my life. I hope I made her half as happy as she made me. I wish I could have been as wonderful to her as she was to me. I never did learn to be so giving.
When I was concerned, thinking, scared, determined, she was always there as my furry half. My heart is broken in ways I cannot express to anyone. I want her back with all of my heart. I know she is in a better place, but my selfish side wants her here with me.
During Christmas she was always my buddy. She would lay with me on the chair, and we would watch holiday specials on TV together (as long as the volume wasn’t too loud) or we stared at the decorated tree and enjoyed each other’s company. Seeing her stocking and knowing she isn’t here anymore breaks my heart.
How do you go on without the “person” who was better to you than you were to yourself?
This summer how will I sit on “our” lounge chair on the back porch without her warm, soft, furry little body? I think it is time for the lounge chair to go to someone else. It won’t be the same without her.